I heated the bottle's neck with steam until the waxsoftened, and I peeled it off. The cork was a lot morestubborn, but it finally popped out. There was an immediatejet of smoke from the bottle's mouth, accompanied by aroaring sound. The smoke didn't disperse but formed anodd-shaped cloud about eight feet tall, reaching just to theceiling. As more and more smoke poured out, it added to thecloud which became increasingly dense and almost solid,looking like an oversize human form.And then it _was_ human. Or humanoid. A huge swarthyfigure, only somewhat lighter in color than the smoke hadbeen, stood there, naked from the waist up, except for aturban and earrings, clad in red silk pantaloons andslippers with turned-up toes. A genie, no doubt."Ho, mortal! You have freed a djinn." OK, a purist. "Forthat, I shall grant thee a wish of thy desire." Not three wishes?" I asked."Be content with one, which is more than most mortals get intheir lives. Consider thyself lucky to get even. "I love the pink nail polish, and your ear rings are darling." It's not funny! I don't even get a say in the matter. If I refuseto go along with any of their suggestions, including full make-upevery morning, they view it as a sign of some possible progression inmy mental illness or lack of recovery or something and start talkingabout sending me back to the hospital again! For Christ's sake theyeven make sure and watch me take my birth control pill each morning.They are sure that my memory is shot and they are afraid that I'mgoing to get knocked up!"Emily struggles to contain a laugh. "You really do look nice," shejokes, still smiling a little. "And we definitely wouldn't want yougetting pregnant you naughty girl!" Maybe it's just the incrediblerelief of knowing her husband/soul mate has somehow miraculouslysurvived combined with the overall ridiculousness of the situation,but somehow my torment has turned into a comedy routine.I decide to go ahead and give her a little bit.
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